Today I made one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I had a second chance to revise my contract and give myself a chance to end this job at the end of next July. What happened was I had dated the form wrong so they asked if I would resign it accurately. I have until February to make up my mind but I signed early because I was in horror at my debt. It really takes complete control of your life before you realize it. Anyways, I deliberated hard on this because I have been extremely depressed here and overwhelmed by it at times. I weighed the pros and cons and the cons, but the pros overtook me and I signed and dated again as of today. I thought I should take a chance to discuss this with my family over the holidays, but I know mom and dad would agree with this decision… I think when it comes down to it, I simply can’t take any risks until the first 2 years of payments are made on my loans. If I can accomplish that, then the loans will be completely in my name and the only one the banks will try to hound is me. Because my grandpa cosigned for me and now my grandma is alone after his death, there is no way I would ever risk what fragile sense of happiness might remain. I’m young, I can handle this. I miss the life that I use to have, but when it comes down to it, people move one. People change, situations are never the same. I feel like I’m already in my 50’s or something. Stress can be the worst demon to face. Anyways, on a more arbitrary note.

The other day I saw the most fantastic fall colors on this enormous tree. The tree is just down the street
next door to an abandoned temple and the setting was simply gorgeous. I was compelled to take a picture, but I was driving and just didn’t make the time. Well, shortly thereafter the leaves had fallen off the tree and it’s glory was gone. Then a few days later all of the branches from the tree were cut off. Now it’s just this disfigured thing and it left me intrigued. Intrigued because I wonder if the tree had known it was about to be dismembered and put forth it’s best effort for the last time. People always say animals have a sense for the weather and the tree are naturally designe to live with these changes. But us humans are the X-factor here restricted only by death, so I doubt it could have predicted it’s demise. I’m pretty sure the only reason they chopped it down was because the neighbors probably didn’t want to clean up the leaves. Plus, the temple is uninhabited these days so who cares, right. (Is what I’m sure they were thinking) It’s just sort of sad. Dad always said to to stop and smell the roses. Believe me, the man leads by example too! I tried that once here at the Board of Education, but I think the flowers may have been fake, because I smelt nothing and probably looked like a jackass. At least I tried.

Here’s the art link o’ the week: Jot Down…